hydrokinetics | The world could show nothing to me, so what good would living do me [W3, Saturday, Post-Trial]

I have already spoken to her. I cannot elaborate, but admittedly... I was more worried about her ability to process this weekened's events than I was your own.

[ That might sound a bit ominous, but that's honestly just Hannibal's dedication to his principles as a psychiatrist. Xion had told him things in confidence, and so he wouldn't betray those facts about why he would be more concerned. He hopes that Percy will take it at that, because dancing around elaboration will be difficult.

Though for now, he motions to the area next to Percy. ]

May I sit with you?

[There's a sage nod. Yeah, he can definitely understand it. It's why he'd wanted her to be looked after as well, knowing the things he knows about her and knowing how she responded to everything today.]

I'm worried about it as well. It's why I wanted someone to stay with her. [Which presumably is someone else he's spoken to. He doesn't mind the vagueness. He understands.]

...but I guess so. [He does move a little to offer more room, and though he's on the ground, he chimes in:] Do you want a chair instead? The ground's kind of dusty.

[ To Xion, he nods gently, but he doesn't say any more than that. It's not quite why he's here, and he also doesn't want to breach her privacy. Despite those secrets that Hannibal keeps, privacy is something he takes quite seriously. ]

No, that is quite all right. You do not need to inconvenience yourself for my sake, but thank you.

[ His thanks is quite genuine as he settles himself near Percy, because he's never one to overlook politeness. It may be dusty, certainly, but he considers it more important to sit next to Percy. To be on the same level as him, at least physically. ]

It's a rather stereotypical question, so I hope you'll forgive me for it— But how are you feeling, Percy?

It wouldn't be an inconvenience, considering. [It's a fruitless argument. Considering that Hannibal helped both Natalie and Sei and that he helped in the trial and that he's checked on Xion and now that he's here? It's really no inconvenience at all. It's clear that while Percy sometimes disrespects authority and people, he holds Hannibal in pretty high regard. It's a little rare, but it's something he thinks about.

From this position on the ground he somehow manages to look smaller and every bit of 16 he is, curled up and cradling his sleeping dog in his arms. His fingers are fiddling with Mrs. O'Leary's ear, ignoring the stinging and bleeding of his hands in lieu of considering that question.]

...it should have been me, I think. [He's come to terms with that at least.] I was supposed to protect her, and I didn't. People say that if I'd stayed I might be gone too, but I don't care. That's still what I should have done. [A pause.] So. Not great.

[ Hannibal stays staring ahead at first, not wanting to infringe too much on Percy's expression of grief. He knows what this feels like, maybe even to an extent that would be surprising. But that grief is old and hollow in him, and that hole had since been filled with something else. Something that made it ironic that his wanted poster only boasted hedonism. But that was also something he never expressed as a result. Not even to Will.

But whether it's sympathy in understanding or simply Hannibal being dedicated as always to his practice of psychiatry and helping those through their traumas, he reaches out to Percy. He places a gentle, but heavy hand on his shoulder, and there's no grip, so Percy is free to pull away if it's uncomfortable. It's a gesture meant to convey that Hannibal is here for him and here to listen. ]

In the face of grief and death, "shoulds" come up often, in my experience. Regret is what makes us human, in a way. We can look at our decisions and wonder if perhaps a different decision would have led to a better circumstance. And this isn't to say you shouldn't give them though. They are important for grieving, in their way. But take care that you don't drown in them.

[ So long as Percy hasn't moved, Hannibal will give his shoulder a small squeeze, then fold his hands back in his lap. ]

Though I'm sorry we didn't find the person responsible. For Annabeth's death or for Riku's. [ nui, eh ] It's not very professional for me to say, and I know it. But at the same time, if justice had come from yours or Xion's hand, it would have been easier to swallow.

[Surprisingly, he doesn't move. The gesture...well, it's not exactly appreciated because Percy doesn't quite know what to do with it, a little frustrated still, but at the same time it feels like something Chiron would do or maybe even his own father for the few times his father was around. It may do well to listen to some of the adults in this town, but he doesn't quite know how to tone it down. So he accepts both the hand on his shoulder and also the squeeze before he continues.]

I don't know if professional laws can count in a place like this anymore. But the justice would have to come from my hands. I would never let Xion do it. [A pause.] She shouldn't have to kill, but at the same time I would have understood if we caught the right person and she wanted to.

[Maybe he shouldn't be saying that either. Still...] Dr. Lecter. I know what you're trying to say, but you don't understand. I should have stayed. I promised her that I'd never let her out of my sight ever again, but she told me I had to come back here. If I had ignored her, I would have been able to fight off whatever came for her. It's almost like I didn't even try. Like I'm the one who actually killed her.

[ Considering their conversation a few weeks ago, it's probably not too surprising that Hannibal nods in agreement. Despite being such a calm, almost mild-mannered man, this kind of talk doesn't seem to bother him. Percy expresses wanting to kill in revenge and that Xion may want to do the same, and it's met with quiet acceptance. In fact, he speaks to that desire first: ]

You at least deserve the chance.

[ But for the rest, he looks to Percy as he speaks. He listens, and his expression is sympathetic, but still not so much that it might seem like pity. He's listening and taking his words seriously and without judgement, and it's why he doesn't try and deny that it wasn't Percy's fault. It wasn't quite his place to do so, but also, in that part of him that he keeps hidden, he feels that Percy might be right. He would never say that to him, since there's no need to rub that in, but in the kind of cold logic that Hannibal thought with, it was true. If Percy had stayed, Annabeth might have lived. Might, but it was still a chance.

So instead of that, a silence falls between them. It doesn't seem like Hannibal doesn't know what to say, but more that he's considering whether he should speak to something or not. But eventually, he offers to look ahead instead of backwards. ]

And now? What will you do, Percy?

[Sometimes you just gotta kill the people who take what you love. Percy often thinks about what it means to kill people and making sure he's doing the right thing. To him, killing those who hurt people here seems right.

And yet...]

The chance is gone. We will never know who was responsible.

[That's what bothers him the most, he thinks. If he had stayed, she might have lived. And even if she didn't, they could have died together. That would be better than this, wouldn't it? That would be better than being alone and lost and even further away from home than he once was. So Hannibal's question is met with a long stretch of silence because he doesn't have an answer.]

...but I guess the same thing I've always done. Move forward. What else can I do? I have to keep playing if I want to get her back. [...a pause.] This isn't new to me, and it's not the first time we've been in a situation like this. I'll fix it somehow.

[ Hannibal doesn't think it is, but Hannibal also knows that there's one person here who knows the truth of these murders. Every time, he imagines, though the thing about Hannibal and Will is that despite what they project outwardly, they're both bad people. Will likely knew the guilty every trial, and Hannibal could ask him. But just as Will never helps, Hannibal never asks.

Though maybe for once... He might. If only out of curiosity to see what Percy might do.

Naturally, he doesn't speak to his real thoughts, just gives a sympathetic look before his attention turns ahead again. He's patient as the silence lingers, since he doesn't need to push. It's a difficult thing to process, and so he doesn't mind waiting at all for Percy's answer. ]

But you do want to get her back? [ The wording there catches his attention, but his tone is light, not discouraging the thought at all ] It does sound like participation would be rewarded. But participation could have grave consequences.

[An almost affronted look follows.] Of course I do. And I don't care if participating is what it takes, there are all kinds of ways we can participate in this stupid thing. [Though like. He'd obviously be down to murder.] Annabeth's needed and I'll do whatever it takes to get her back, even if it means shifting things around to get one specific person to win.

Wouldn't you do the same for Will?

Without any hesitation.

[ And similarly, there's no hesitation in his answer. It's not even something given half a thought of consideration. Though that combined with what he elaborates with might make that lack of hesitation slightly more questionable. ]

The fact that you would is not why I'm asking. I assumed as such. But there are many different ways to participate, true, but there is also a clearly preferred one.

[ He cants his head very lightly as he looks at Percy. ]

Would you kill for her?

[It's nice that he understands, at least. The question also isn't a surprise, but at this rate what is? He thinks it's no longer a secret and without Annabeth, it's just him. He can play by his own rules.]

I have before. [Nonchalant, really. However.] They weren't exactly people. Not like this. But I would do whatever I could if it meant saving her, yeah.

As have I.

[ That's probably the surprising part of their conversation, because Hannibal may not seem the type. But he at least doesn't admit it casually, and he doesn't revel in it. With how he speaks of it and how he elaborates, it seems like it must have been something necessary. ]

In my view, we're faced with a difficult set of choices here. Participation is bloodsport, no matter how we look at it. But... Here, we're also told that there is a chance. Not just for survival, but to regain what is lost. To save those important to us.

[ He pauses again, though his attention stays on Percy. He's careful with his words here and in offering his concern. And his help. ]

If you would like to try and save her and you need help, you only need to ask me, Percy. That's what I would like to offer you.

...oh? [He looks interested suddenly because Hannibal's...Hannibal, right? He's always been so nice and calm so imagining him murdering someone for Will seems a little...] I'd say that's surprising, but maybe it really isn't.

We're told plenty of things, Dr. Lecter. I'm still looking to see which are true. I'd like to believe it's possible to win and bring back everybody and everything but that means a winner who would choose that high of a prize. Can you think of people like that here? [He can. And he would be one of those, but his sole focus now is Annabeth.] ...I think...I would like to stay alive for as long as I could but get rid of the people who killed her and Riku. And anyone else that may be in the way? Threats. There's another route, but I'm not losing more people. If that means fighting them myself, then so what.

[And yet...] That's a very hefty offer though. You know that, don't you?

[ His smile turns a little wry, and he bows his head lightly. Considering Percy's interest, he does explain, though he keeps it simple. He'll elaborate more if asked, but as it's not the focus of their conversation, he keeps it brief. ]

Yes. A man came to my office with the intent to kill me. I thought he had already killed Will, but luckily, I was mistaken. I escaped with my life when we fought. Tobias did not.

[ It's all quite true, though the context is a little misleading... Ask Will about this and he'd probably stare into the camera like he was in the Office. But. Moving on— ]

I do think that there is a fair amount that would. There are good people here. People that care, either about each other or about justice. And so, I hope that it's one of them that wins. Or why I would lend my assistance where I can.

[ He inclines his head lightly, since he's referring to the question that Percy asks. ]

I have very little to lose, Percy. Will and I are likely already dead. So, yes. I do know. And it is why I offer. If I "earn my keep," then perhaps... We could live. Or we may not. But I will try to secure our lives in what ways I can.

Edited 2017-02-06 01:56 (UTC)

Huh. [It's a "huh" of understanding, and though he really would like to ask more questions he chooses not to.] I'm glad you were safe.

[Sucks for that guy? Clearly Tobias was a Bad Man.] There's a fair amount now, but we also don't know how long they're going to survive here with everybody else. People are going to get desperate to want to stay alive and with the failsafe for the Bandits in place, that's not much easier. Your assistance is appreciated. We're all going to need to stick together as long as possible.

[But...he understand.] That's understandable. [And it's because of all of this, because Annabeth's gone, because he's desperate that he finally says:] I have to get her back so that we can get home and save the world. Without her, and without me, it won't be done. I can't let that happen to an entire planet. So I guess I want to earn my keep and do my part, too. And win, if possible.

As am I.

[ To say the least. It's not every day you get in a wacky serial killer fight, but, hey. Things happen.

He nods as Percy explains his own thoughts, since Hannibal agrees. Since the first time someone had died, he had worried about the very thing Percy explains. It feels like an inevitability that people would become desperate to live, because that's human nature. Hannibal knows that far better thn most people, considering his "hobby." Though that's at least neither here nor there.

Though of course, before he gets to those kinds of practical matters that last part of what Percy says surprises him. Hannibal's eyes widen in surprise, and he's briefly stunned into a silence, but it turns to a slightly wry smile. ]

Saving the world— That's quite the burden for someone so young.

[ He doesn't sound disbelieving, though. He's already accepted plenty of strange stories, so he can accept another one just as easily. Though each time he hears one, he does feel a bit more "normal," and that's almost comical. ]

But it gives me more confidence that my help would be put in the right place. I was thinking of selflessness in terms of having another person to support... Having far more than that is comforting, odd as that is to say.

[#justhannibalthings

He's wondered when people will start to snap, what people will do and he thinks back to what Diego said, how people will believe anything if they want to keep someone or something safe. He wants to keep people here safe, but he also doesn't know how many people he can trust not to swandive off the deep end. It doesn't help that he doesn't quite trust himself anymore either.

But he says nothing.]

Yeah, well. We did such a great job the first time they felt like we'd be good for round two. [Let him rest.] Dr. Lecter...I promise you I'll do whatever I have to to keep you and Will safe as long as I can. You two deserve that much, and since Annabeth's gone, I...[A huff.] You have each other and it wouldn't be fair to split you apart. So long as you and Will play along I think we can make this work. The Sheriff seems to take us participating in trials and stuff as part of participating in the game at all. If you can help me with whatever happens next then...I'd be really, really grateful.

[ There's a moment where Hannibal actually looks genuinely quite surprised by the sentiment, though it quickly and easily shifts to one of looking quite touched instead. It strikes him as almost naive, admittedly. The sort of genuine, earnest help that Percy offers, but that doesn't mean he looks down on it. Quite the opposite, actually. It makes him feel a bit old in a wry way, since that kind of sentiment is something you lose as you grow older, he thinks.

His usual, calm eloquence is briefly interrupted as a result, and he seems at a loss of what to say, if only for a moment. But he nods, and it's with a smile. ]

Of course, Percy. I will always help, so long as you ask.

[ That seems important to convey first. ]

And thank you. So long as what the Sheriff told us is true... I agree. We can make this work. It's my sincere hope that Annabeth and all of those lost can be returned.

[In truth, it's probably incredibly naive. He won't see it that way though, focused on keeping people together. It's what he does as a hero. It's all he wants to focus on now.]

They will be. I'm not going to stop until I'm sure of it. She'd kick my ass if I stopped now anyway so...[There's actually a very small but genuine smile.] It'll be fine. Somehow. I have no idea how yet, but it will be. Just keep Will playing the game and keep yourself playing, too.

[ The smile is returned with one of Hannibal's own, and he dips his head again in an easy nod, this time less surprised. He still does seem impressed with Percy, though, and he doesn't bother to hide that. ]

I will. We will.

[ He's at least personally feeling a bit better about Percy's state of mind, and he hopes that it's the same for Percy. Perhaps having a purpose will help him. It so often does in the face of trauma and loss, so... He sees this is a good thing. An opportunity for him. It's that thought that also gets him to add a soft, but genuine: ]

You are quite a brave person, by the way. I've seen older, wiser men buckle underneath such things.

[Thank you, Dr. Dad, that's pretty awesome. Percy's state of mind (for now) is a little more stabilized, and for a moment he looks okay. Having a purpose will help immensely. However, Hannibal continues and he smiles a little more, tired yet amused all the same.]

I have , too. But that's exactly why I have to be this way. We train for stuff like this. [For the sake of man, he has to protect what he can. He's hoping it might be left at that, but he also doesn't seem to mind this conversation.] Thanks though, I guess.

The world could show nothing to me, so what good would living do me [W3, Saturday, Post-Trial]

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