And forever for her is over for me [W6, Saturday, Post-Trial]

[hydrokinetics]

[He's curled up in a ball on the floor, a piece of paper clutched in his hand. He's not able to meet anybody's eyes right now but he knows this is important.

Shinnosuke and Natalie are gone. Jason's MIA. Their numbers are so small and not for the first time he wonders if he should be more scared than he feels.

However, he talks to the top of his shoes instead.]

...go ahead. Lay it on me. [About how he and Jason should have mentioned things sooner. There's a lot more he wants to say, but one step at a time.]

Comments

[thatsthespirit]

[she's sitting down some. . . where, still trying to let her injuries heal after Jason clocked her good in the ribs. she pauses for a moment in response to what Percy says, and then just. shakes her head]

. . . it doesn't matter. We knew what had happened to Natalie from the very beginning.

[they just. . . didn't want to accept it]

[elemancy]

[ultimately, milla is right, even if... it bothers him.

but it's mostly out of worry anyway.]

Just... don't keep stuff from us anymore. We're all on the same side here.

[hydrokinetics]

I know we are. That's...why I need to come clean about some other stuff. And I really hope you guys are going to forgive me, but it had to be this way. In a way, I'm kinda glad Jason's not here.

[A pause.] I knew Natalie killed Dr. Lecter by Friday. She asked me not to tell you guys until after the trial.

[thatsthespirit]

[somehow, she had that feeling. either way, she stays silent for now, waiting for Percy to finish speaking before she says anything else. what's done is done. . . they can't do anything about it anymore]

[elemancy]

[okay, he'll probably have a real reaction in a minute because

what the fuck, bro.

but for now, he's just going to kick off one of his boots at percy. for being a punk, and because there's not really much else he can do about it but be kind of pissed.]

[hydrokinetics]

[That's fair. He doesn't even try to dodge it. He's feeling pretty shitty, too, guys.]

...Hal picked her as one of the Bandits this week. You know what happens if you confess before the trial's over, but by the time I talked to her she already knew. She picked Dr. Lecter because she knew that he was the Deputy and...she knew that Will would come after her. [As he speaks, his voice grows much softer and tense.] She knew that Will would come after her and that when he did, we could vote for him and get rid of both of them. She wasn't going to kill someone innocent. She had to do it or Hal would have killed her, too.

[He holds up the piece of paper.] She gave me this to read to you guys. And she wanted me to apologize for what happened. [A shaky sigh.] I tried...that's why I brought her with me back to mine and Jason's room. I thought maybe we could stop this. That if Will really did try to come after her, we could stop it. I didn't know Hal was going to get involved. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, I didn't know this was going to happen.

[thatsthespirit]

[. . .]

[her hands ball into fists in her lap, fingers clutching into the fabric of her skirt. she closes her eyes, feels more anger mixed with her mourning over her lost friends, although it isn't directed at Percy. Natalie. . . why didn't she trust them? why didn't she let them try to figure out what to do about Dr. Lecter and Will together?]

[why did she take away their only known means of ending this game?]

[when she speaks, it's quiet]

. . . please read to us what she wrote. I want to hear from her in her own words.

[hydrokinetics]

[He unfolds the note then.]

"Hey, guys.

If you're reading this, you're probably really pissed at me for one reason or another, and that's pretty fair. Hear me out, though. I don't know how much Will is going to tell you, or what he'll say, so...

When I was chosen on Monday, I already knew Hannibal was the Deputy. I wasn't going to hurt anyone innocent, but I knew if I refused to do anything I was going to be killed, and if I did play along... Well, if you're reading this, you know how that ended, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, that I lied to you. But it seemed like the safest option for the rest of you. I used the rest of my merit to make sure that whatever happened, Will wouldn't hurt anyone else when he found out about Hannibal. I was worried that if you tried to protect me, more people than necessary were going to die.

I confirmed with the Sheriff before I chose that the Deputy doesn't need to be alive to get to the ending where we have a group of people unwilling to kill each other. It seemed like the best choice we had, since we know Damian would never have... You know. I knew if Will did anything to me, it would be obvious, and you could all vote for him. One more obstacle out of the way.

I get it if you think it was stupid, though. It probably was. I don't know. It just seemed like neither option was going to end well for me, but there was one that could end better for the rest of you. I wasn't lying when I said I trust all of you. I know you can do this. Talk to each other, and you can figure out what to do next, who to protect and who to focus on. You'll make the right choice if you work together. I'm cheering you on, or some sappy bullshit like that. Ugh.

Anyways, I'm giving this to Percy to read to the rest of you, but you can decide to show it to anyone who you think should see it. It's up to you guys now, although I might judge a little if it ends up in Ash's hands. Either way, give them hell for me and everyone else. You got this."

[...a pause.] There's a part for Jason, but I'm not going to read it when he's not here. Otherwise that's about it.

[thatsthespirit]

[she listens in complete and utter silence, and doesn't say a word when Percy is done reading. she doesn't know what to think about this. deep down, she really wishes Natalie would have said something. deep down, she wanted Natalie to survive this game with everyone else in this group]

[but deep down, underneath that frustration, is. . . well. she can't help but respect the girl for her gutso]

[she lifts her head, and there's fire in her eyes]

We can't let her sacrifice got to waste. We need to end this.

[elemancy]

[his other boot is getting kicked off, but not at percy. just kind of.. in general as his fingers dig into his knees.

dammit.

he can't really be mad at either of them for this—but he's upset. he hates this, he hates that she went this way without telling them the plan, that they went this whole time not really knowing the truth.

he knows his trust wasn't misplaced.

but he also knows they can't let her efforts be in vain, even if he just remains very quiet for the moment.]

[hydrokinetics]

We're not going to let it go to waste. That's why Natalie gave me this letter. That's why we're going to end this this week. We're lost enough friends...I'm not losing more. [He hates it too. He's upset that this happened out of his hands. Perhaps, now, they'll understand the motivation behind the speech he gave Barnham.]

Hal told Natalie that he's going to only start picking one Bandit a week. We need to find a way to break the cycle. With Dr. Lecter's merit...I'm hoping I can ask.

[thatsthespirit]

[she nods]

Then how do we break the cycle?

There will be nine of us left after tomorrow's execution. Out of those nine, I only trust six of you implicitly. We aren't yet at the point where we have a group of people unwilling to kill each other.

[herself being number seven, of course]

[hydrokinetics]

...do you think we could ask the Sheriff to give us an idea of what to do with our wildcards? I know Noctis trusts Ash, but I'm not sure if I do yet. And I'm still not sure about Rin. Especially after today.

[elemancy]

"Trust" is a loose term.

[he notes, much as he really isn't keen to admitting it.]

He hasn't done anything up to now, or... up to when Hannibal wrote that letter. But I can't promise he'd work with us.

[and:] He still doesn't know my role, either.

[though the idea of having to get rid of ash also... bothers him?]

[thatsthespirit]

[Percy. . .]

If you ask the Sheriff for ideas, you already know what he'll say.

[this is a MURDER game and if Ash and Rin were MURDERED then they would. . . have that group. . .]

[hydrokinetics]

Do we know what Ash's letter from Hannibal actually says? I don't know if he'd work with us either, but the only other thing we could do is...[Well. Yeah.] It's probably smart he doesn't know. You heard him at the trial, he was already trying to go after you guys.

[He bites his lip because Milla's right.] Maybe we can ask Mr. Barnham if he has any better ideas. After we're all together again.

[thatsthespirit]

I don't.

[she glances at Noctis for this one, because perhaps he has some more insight than she]

I suspect he thinks he can end this game by eliminating the Bounties, or at least the remaining roles. Whether that's a valid way of claiming victory, I don't know.

As for Barnham, I confided in him my role earlier today. He was less surprised than I thought he'd be.

[elemancy]

...I got nothin' on that one. I don't really know what he would've said to Ash, or what Ash is even after aside from ending the game.

[hydrokinetics]

Maybe that's our next step. Finding out what Ash and Rin know and how they think ending the game will work. I have no idea how we're going to talk to either of them though.

So Mr. Barnham knows about you two. Does he know about Damian at all now?

[elemancy]

I didn't tell him about anyone else in the group, so if he knows about Damian, it would have to be from someone else.

[thatsthespirit]

I didn't mention Damian to him either. At least, not by name.

I thought that was a secret Damian himself should share if he wished to do so, not me.

[hydrokinetics]

If we're going to be asking Mr. Barnham to help us, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea. At this point, our numbers are so small...[A shrug.] Maybe he already knows? It's not hard to see who we're all sticking close to these days.

[bittybat]

[After a long moment, Damian puts a book down so everyone can read it.]

It was Xion's.

[thatsthespirit]

[WHAT IS THIS, WHY AM I SUFFERING SO MUCH THIS WEEK??]

[it takes her a while to read all of the entries, but. when she reaches the end, she just. . . slumps. tiredly. everything is continuing to happen so mcuh]

. . . I had no idea she was feeling this way.

[elemancy]

[noct will read through it too, but he stays pretty quiet otherwise—mostly because he feels kind of guilty for how much they questioned her intentions.

and how he definitely let her down in doing what he swore to himself he would weeks ago.]

[hydrokinetics]

[It takes him a long time to read it, but when he does he frowns.]

...do you think all of this is part of the reason she went outside Thursday night? Not wanting to be protected anymore.

[bittybat]

I don't think she cared about her death, most of all. So long as she was "protecting friends."

[hydrokinetics]

She never cared about that. [A frown.] From the beginning, she didn't value her life. She started to want to live, I think, but in the end...I hope it wasn't exactly like that.

[bittybat]

[Damian gives Percy a hard frown.]

Maybe she valued her life the most because she was willing to sacrifice it in order to protect others.

[hydrokinetics]

You think? [He doesn't discount that, simply raising an eyebrow to see where Damian's going with this.] I never said she was selfish, you know.