My mind is set on overdrive, the clock is laughing in my face [W5, Sunday/Monday]

[hydrokinetics]

[Percy's never been afraid of the dark, but in the last few months both in Tartarus and in this town, the dark has meant too many dangerous things that've put him on edge. It's startling late when he enters the hotel and he's quiet about it, closing the door while making zero sound and keeping his steps light.

Of course, he doesn't account for anyone else being awake. The sounds from the kitchen alarm him but he narrows his eyes, a hand on Annabeth's dagger at his hip as he steps closer to see what's going on. After everything, he refuses to be caught off-guard.

...and then he notices who it is and he sighs without thinking about it. Of course. Why isn't this a surprise?]

Man, what're you doing? [Will, why are you this way? And what are you doing?]

Comments

[hydrokinetics]

[The look he gives Will when the man denies that thanks isn't necessary is one that says Percy would be fine to argue that point. Will, despite how the actions could have been made selfish, helped. Will pointed them in the right direction, to people that wouldn't be playing right, to people that still didn't deserve to die (because who does in this place?) but to people that would hinder the end goal. Percy thinks he can handle his own feelings enough to make it to the end.]

I think…sometimes anger is an okay motivator. [And again his words are soft because it's something he's hesitant to say, something he doesn't think people will understand. He's used his own anger many times to push forward. Anger drove him to fight his way through Tartarus. Anger drove him to hold the doors of death closed as they rode up the elevator. Anger will drive him to defeat Gaea. It has to.

The poem stays in his hand. He refuses to give it back until Will explains, but the intent is clear. He will give it back. His posture says enough. It's when Will begins to explain that for the first time in a long time, Percy finds himself surprised.

'You have to understand that Hannibal's primary goal is his own amusement.'

'…To be honest, I could imagine the Sheriff picking the Bounties based solely on what he finds the most amusing.'

'At home, he's the most prolific serial killer in the world.

'You would have to put yourself in his frame of mind. To watch the proceedings as if they were nothing more than a game. But that is a dangerous frame to be in.'

'Wouldn't that make someone like a sociopath?'

'It would, yes. And that is why I wouldn't necessarily recommend stepping into their shoes. But that is how you would predict the Sheriff's decisions, I would think.'

Will's explanation ignites several feelings as he continues and Percy finds himself pulling Winston a little closer, the half-eaten bowl of fruit temporarily forgotten. There's surprise, first and foremost. He wonders how long they all would have gone without suspecting Hannibal had they not spoken together and started to assess everyone they know. He wonders how long Hannibal's known, what he truly finds amusing, how he ticks. There's worry for Will because it sounds like a dangerous situation to be in no matter how much they love each other. There's annoyance and a little anger at the fact that Hannibal's been stringing them along, biding his time while they're freaking out over what to do. There's panic that something may happen, that other people may get hurt and he can't protect them. There's confusion of why these two men would prefer to die.

But the one thing Will will notice is that there are two primary things. There's a lack of fear, and a hint of understanding.]

…Dr. Lecter acts just like any other counselor I've known. Guiding where it fits, but ultimately sitting back and watching people make their own decisions and watch the events play out before the cycle starts over.

[There's a lingering pause.] I know you and Dr. Lecter love each other but…are you in danger, Will? [Again, it's a soft, almost childish question. He thinks about his own mother again who stayed with a horrible man for so many years to protect Percy, who brushed off Gabe's behavior despite knowing what he was doing. He doesn't think it's like this, but it does make him wonder.]

Why did you put Dr. Lecter in prison? And how did he get out anyway? [A shake of his head.] Never mind, maybe that part doesn't matter.

[…he ducks his head again when Will mentions him and how the two of them view him. It's…something, isn't it? To be liked among serial killers.]

That's also the real reason Dr. Lecter doesn't use his skills in trial. He wants to be amused and watch what we're doing. [It makes sense, in a fucked up way. He takes a breath though.] Baiting us to see if we'll notice what should be obvious, but absolutely isn't. It's…I knew a guy like that once. But I don't think he was a serial killer until he became possessed. [Luke was a weird, weird case.] And Dr. Lecter being…the Deputy--[He finally, finally says it]--that's why Russell was put in the stocks. He really was doing it for me, in a way. But Annabeth. Does that mean he put her there because he wanted to see what we'd do? Did he think she would die?

[Those are the wrong questions, yes, but it hurts. It still hurts knowing the final pieces and putting things together, the events of this downfall. But it's not about him. This is about Dr. Lecter and Will and Percy trying not to get caught in the crossfires of information.]

…for an empath, someone who's capable of an entire spectrum of emotion, doesn't that hurt you though? Or has he learned to be attune to it and really help you? And when you say that he hasn't really killed out of compulsion here, that means…that he has though. Right? Like I have, but for another reason. [It's the "note really" that sticks out to him, actually.]

Dr. Lecter is a very smart man. It takes someone clever to calculate how to play the game this way and…well, there's a reason so many people respect him and don't suspect him at all. [He's not sure how to feel.] Isn't there some stupid phrase about idle brains and devil hands or something? That's what this is, isn't it? It's Dr. Lecter wanting to change the direction of the game. That's why now. That's why he's choosing to reveal himself piece by piece to us.

[There's definitely a lot of judgment, and yet he's calm and rational about it. Percy has seen far too much in his life and has entertained enough dark thoughts to ever immediately jump to conclusions and anger. Not when several lives depend on it.]

You've known? [That's the surprise, actually.] Both of you? He…but…[Why!!!] If he's bored and doesn't want to play, wouldn't it be better for all of us to agree how to fix this?

[He's terrified then, though not for himself. He's terrified what will happen if the others decide they really do need to take down Hannibal without a solid plan. It's easier for Percy to frame this in mind now that it's "monster" versus "man." He still respects Dr. Lecter, but it's in an entirely different way. Plus, there's Will.]

Will. [There's a hitch to his voice.] How…would you even set something up like that? What's Dr. Lecter really capable of doing to any of us who try to change the game ourselves? […and yet there's something that resonates there. "I'm his keeper." Not for the first time when speaking to Will he thinks of Annabeth.

He thinks of dark, dark places well below the mortal world, thinks of the goddess of misery, Akhlys. The hopelessness and frustration start to seep in, remembering the way the goddess had tricked them and started to poison them. Back then, Percy's primary goal was Annabeth. Save Annabeth. Protect Annabeth. The anger that overtook him, the instinct to fight that unleashed his rage…the power he felt as he controlled Misery's tears and fumes, choking her with the manipulation of liquids, never wanting to stop, wanting to see how much Misery could take because, well, isn't that what Misery is? But then there was Annabeth. There was Annabeth who cried out to him, begged him to stop, Annabeth that stuck by his side despite the dark corners that lurked in his mind, Annabeth that loved him unconditionally and Annabeth he would die for and kill for.

This, he thinks, is maybe why he can understand a little. Naturally he doesn't agree with killing people for whimsy or doing things just because. But he can understand how emotions can mess with someone. He understands that Dr. Lecter and Will have each other and focus on each other, just like he understands he and Annabeth work together for good.

"I'm the only one who can contain him properly, can keep him at bay."

Another blip of understanding. Originally, Hal threatened Percy with the coal miner job. Without Annabeth, he found himself growing more and more broken and frustrated and reckless. So, again, he can understand.

Perhaps that's the only difference. Percy has murdered hundreds upon hundreds of monsters to fight for what he loves. Hannibal did, too. They just happened to be people.]

…I think they call that co-dependency, Will. [Just. A thought. He breathes deeply to try and organize his head, to help Will, but there are so many questions.]

What will really happen to my friends if they decide to go after Dr. Lecter? [A beat.] I'm at risk too now, aren't I?

[sweats]

[ There's something truly relieving at the fact that Percy doesn't immediately go on the defensive, he doesn't lash out, he doesn't run away, and instead he just listens and tries to understand. Will thought -- he had hoped so much, that Percy would be capable of that, but with all his empathy, Will can't outright predict what people will do. He can assume a likely reaction based on what he feels then but he can never predict. He can never tell definitively.

For a moment, for a brief, brief moment, Will wishes he met Percy in normal circumstances and before -- before he became what he is. Percy is a good kid and Will's sure he has his own parents but -- god, what a stupid thought. He thinks of Abigail again for a brief moment and tries not to feel sick.

First, he'll just answer Percy's questions. Cautiously and one by one. ]

Hannibal likes to play God. [ The irony of it makes Will laugh for a moment, soft and breathy, as he looks up to the ceiling. ] He probably finds it absolutely amusing that he's befriended a demigod. He's also fond of Greek... myth, well. It's myth for us. I'm never quite sure how to talk about it with you, since it's your reality.

[ But that's not quite the point here, just idle commentary. Instead -- ]

I'm not in danger with Hannibal. Not anymore.

[ He pauses then slightly before setting his bowl to the side and finally lifting up the hem of his shirt. No, Percy will see why he never participates in the strip searching. From one end of his stomach to another, a scar in the shape of a smile goes across his middle. Will looks at it for a moment before sighing and letting his shirt drop. ]

Hannibal gutted me once with a kitchen knife. Pulled me into a hug and slashed my stomach for my troubles. I finally figured out what he was, didn't want to be the one to catch him but didn't want to escape with him. That's what he left me with.

[ And then he lifts a hand to touch the scar on his forehead, the one that goes from middle to near the top of his ear. ]

This one was when Hannibal tried to lobotomize me. We couldn't be together, couldn't exist in the same space without trying to kill each other, so he tried to cut out my brain and eat it. Then, we'd always be together, in his opinion.

[ He drops his hands then, shrugging as he takes another blueberry. ]

Both of those happened as a result of us not being able to exist together. I said, in his opinion, Hannibal courted me for a long time. I resisted for a reason, Percy. Now that I stopped resisting, there's no need to hurt each other anymore.

[ He also decides to answer the prison question anyway. It's not necessary but it might shed light for Percy on why they are the way they are. Why Hannibal especially is acting like he is here. ]

I put him there because I wanted to be left alone. I knew he'd only turn himself in if I rejected him -- he'd have nothing left on the outside world. All his indulgences, the wines and food and art, it wouldn't matter to him anymore if he didn't have me. So, I rejected him and he refused to let it stand. The only way he could know I always knew where he was is if he was in prison.

He's not in prison because even while in it, he was able to take away everything I built for myself -- a good life without him, with a wife and a stepson. I retired and I was happy but he shattered it with a few phone calls and by giving my address to another killer. At that point, I knew neither of us could live without each other. So, I broke him out and before he could do anything, I threw the both of us off a cliff and into the Atlantic ocean. I think we'll drown. I hope we'll drown. The Sheriff took us as we were plummeting. Hannibal says if we don't, he wants to retire to Cuba. Either way, he's not bothering anyone else but me, is he?

[ It's freeing, in a way, being completely and utterly honest about what Hannibal is, what Will has done with him. All he wants is Percy to open his eyes, to play with a full deck for once and see where he goes from there. He can't give Percy anything else but this -- a clear picture of who he's up against. Even if Percy doesn't share it with anyone (which Will hopes he won't, the rest of them don't need to know the details to know Hannibal is a danger) at least there's Percy. ]

What fun is it if he solves these things for you? He wants to watch, yes.

Russell was put in the stocks because Chane asked Hannibal to put him there, Percy. Chane was dear to us, the both of us. I lied for her when it came to Nui, I never actually recommended her a book, and Hannibal and I helped her cut Lust up into pieces and dispose of the body. She didn't have the strength to do the job herself and came to us for help. They both saw you grieving and thought exposing Russell would be a good choice.

As for Annabeth... I can't explain that in full but essentially, yes. He wanted to see what would happen. He didn't know she would die though.

[ But they're still going. They're still going and there's a lot of questions to answer here and Will decides he wants to answer every single one. What would Percy do with all this information? He hopes he's making the right choice here. ]

Hannibal has a grasp of his emotions unlike anyone else I know. I wasn't lying when I called him my anchor. He's like soothing white noise at most, because he's so consistent. Nothing phases him. His heart never races and he's always in control. He's the most relaxing person I've ever met.

[ And -- ]

The Sheriff has used you both for disposal. He's only killed when the Sheriff has asked, he'd prefer to watch and the murders here -- they aren't his style. He considers himself more of an artist and the grandiosity he favors wouldn't work here. So, he'd rather not partake, just observe.

[ It really is a relief saying this out loud because voicing it makes it real, doesn't it? Always caught in metaphor with Hannibal, always hanging on the edges, but right here it doesn't really matter. He doesn't have to cage it in vague references and soft metaphor. He can just state it plainly. Hannibal is a monster. ]

Yes. Like I said, he's getting bored. Letting you dangle for longer would've grown stale. He was relieved when he got the Sheriff's note, then it meant he could be himself again.

[ Then Percy is shocked again and Will blinks, looking to Percy and a hand lifts to almost reach out and comfort but he opts not to. Winston at least is there to lick at Percy's chin again and settle in his lap. He does what Will cannot and Will is grateful. ]

He doesn't know who is what specifically, but he has ideas. He doesn't need empathy to see what's going on. He only asked for one reward and it was a warning, once the Bounties figured him out. I imagine it was Friday? That's when you all came to the conclusion that something was wrong with Hannibal? Meant to go after him this week? So, the Sheriff sent the note Saturday morning. All Hannibal knows is that you know it's him. He only has his suspicions from there.

And it would be better if it was anyone but Hannibal. He wouldn't see the point in it. [ He hears Bedelia in his head and closes his eyes, breathing soft as -- ] Contrapasso, Percy. If you play, you pay.

[ God, he hates Bedelia. ]

No. Hannibal doesn't care about winning or losing the game. You can change the game all you want, he'd love to see how you do it. Would thrill in it, in fact. But if you come to him, you will meet your death. That's all I can say about that.

[ He grows quiet as he lets Percy think, idly lifting his hand towards Winston who looks pleased as Will scratches his ears. Winston's really been the one to see it all, meeting Will the same day he met Hannibal. Will's never questioned the fact Winston is here with him. If anyone was here with him besides Hannibal, of course it would be Winston, wouldn't it? Winston and --

Will glances towards the window where he sees the ruffling feathers of the ravenstag as it looms in the night and stares right at the two of them sitting on the floor. He wonders if he should be afraid but he is not. The ravenstag is as consistent as Winston, as Hannibal. The three of them together make up the whole of this relationship, Will thinks. There isn't any other way.

He's still watching the stag loom in the moonlight when Percy speaks again and all Will can do is give a wry grin. ]

It is. He fostered it in me long before I could be aware of what was happening. Killed everyone important to me and made it so he was the only one left. When the Devil stands on a pile of corpses and offers you his hand, you take it. What else are you to do? I've never felt like anyone like I feel for Hannibal. I'm sure that'd be the same in any universe, any reality. Just -- this one, it's not as clean. It's not as neat.

[ He sighs and takes a strawberry. He'd make a comment then, a joke -- they're less Achilles and Patroclus as Hannibal would like and more Hades and Persephone. Hannibal would probably not appreciate the comment and he's not sure what that would correlate to in Percy's world. So, he keeps quiet. He looks to Percy again, eyes fixed on his knee as he answers the final question. ]

If any of your friends come to attack him, they'll die. But, if you just want to talk to him, Percy -- I think he'd like that.

[hydrokinetics]

[If it were anyone else, if Percy were anyone else, if Percy hadn't lived through the things he has and seen the things he has, hasn't experienced things the game taught him…all of this would be excessively overwhelming. There's so much information, so much detail piled into his hands and he knows immediately that he can't tell anyone. He can't. They'll be in danger. He can warn his friends, at least, warn them that Hannibal knows, warn them that things will get messy…but he doesn't necessarily have to say why. The panic would cause them to overreact and they can't, they can't do that now. He has to be more like Annabeth. He has to rein in his impulses and be smart about this.

To understand the game, one has to put themselves in the shoes. To understand Hannibal Lecter, one has to put themselves in his shoes, too.

So of course he listens. Of course he watches Will with wide green eyes, using Winston as a force to ground himself and focus. He has a lot of moments he wants to interrupt, but he forces himself to bite back words. Information. He needs information. He needs to understand.

Killing people, of course, is still wrong. But is he in a place any longer to judge? Maybe not. So, likewise, he takes each explanation one by one.]

Guess that makes sense then, why he said God can't exist with an attitude like mine. [There's a hint of a smirk. Naturally Hannibal would find everything amusing about the situation. Is that, perhaps, why he's also stayed alive so long? It wouldn't be the first time that a monster has kept Percy around solely for entertainment value. This is just more upfront than usual.] It's okay. I thought it was myth, too, before my math teacher turned out to be a Fury, my Latin teacher revealed himself to be a centaur, and my father claimed me. I get it.

"Not anymore" isn't entirely assuring either. [But when he sees the scars, he goes quiet again. Part of him moves like he's about to touch to see if they're real because it's…quite macabre, isn't it? But he doesn't. His hand curls into a loose fist and rests on Winston instead. It makes his stomach twist uncomfortably, chest tight to think of someone doing this to another person just to isolate them.

It is, essentially, in his mind, abusive. It's abuse and it's horrifying and he doesn't like it, but what can he do? Will just told him not to tell anyone. Will told him to keep quiet. Will knows what Hannibal's capable of and though his emotions are ranging between horrified and sad, he remains mostly okay, if wondering.]

…Will, that's really, really messed up. [It's whispered like he doesn't know what to do and he finds himself blinking back angry tears as he really thinks all of this over. This isn't his battle. It's Will's. He has his own battle to fight, but…it's hard, isn't it? To admit this to another person. He admires Will's bravery for that, at least.] It's like…he bullied you into being with him even when you said no. Fought you until you didn't have a choice. But…he won't hurt you now that you're together. But you also said that Dr. Lecter might kill you? I don't understand that part. Why was he so fascinated with you?

He would do anything so long as it meant you'd pay attention and see him for what he was. That's it, isn't it? That's all that mattered to him. It wasn't just love it was…obsession? Something like that. He took away everything from you so that you could return the attention to him. Rely on him because he was the only one that made sense. [He remembers what Natalie said to him about Will and the ocean.] …I'm a child of Poseidon. Normally, I can't drown. But suffocating is one of the scariest things there is.

[Both physically and emotionally. It's why he lets Will talk. It's why he lets Will tell his story and takes it at face value the way he always does, intently listening and processing and being. He understands what kind of man Hannibal is suddenly and…it's scary. It's very, very scary. And yet:] If you go away…then he's free to hurt everyone else. But with his favorite thing, he's content to sit back and enjoy the show just like Sheriff Hal. That's why Hal picked him, I bet. Someone who would have the right tools and will, but would choose to use them uniquely.

[He scrubs at his face then, shivering a little just because it's so much. It's unjust and unfair and horrifying but like Percy's life as a demigod, this is Will's reality. How can he help something like this?]

Chane…was a good lady. I liked her. [The words are soft and quiet. Chane was sweet but apparently also crazy. How many people here had monsters lurking underneath the skin? He tilts his head though…and something occurs to him.] …if Russell killed Annabeth and Chane killed Nui, an independent party killed Riku. [He breathes out, but he won't touch it yet. No. He needs…to think.] Hal wasn't lying then when he was it was people that wanted to help me…I get it now. I…Russell shouldn't have died the way he did, but only because it was Sara. Sara shouldn't have had to kill him. [But he has trouble feeling total remorse for Russell. It's too early.] I…Annabeth's safe for now. She has to be. She's written to me, she has to be okay.

[Another breath.] …she's my constant, too. Everything I'm doing it's for her and my friends here. But her. I need her. I need her here, I need her safe, I need her to be with me. I promised, Will. I promised I'd never let her out of my sight again, I would follow her to Tartarus all over again if it meant being with her. So. I can understand throwing yourself into the ocean. Having someone to stabilize you. [And then, quickly.] I'm not unstable. But Annabeth's always had my back and kept me alive. She keeps me…from losing control myself.

[So there's that. He frowns heavily then. If Chane killed Nui…and the Sheriff used both himself and Hannibal for disposal…] He killed Riku, didn't he? And possibly Ana. Independent kills. Because the Sheriff will never make the Deputy or the Coal Miner a Bandit.

[Again, he can't judge. He's done the same thing. Does this make him any better than Hannibal? Why is he doing this? For love. For people he loves, to help, do play the game, and oh gods, it's unsettling. The whole thing is unsettling, knowing they're working on a clock. He's unaware of the fact that he's still shivering even until he sees Will's hand move and feels Winston lap at his face. It's then he focuses again, taking another deep, steadying breath.]

Suppose it's time a lot of us start coming clean. [He makes a face then.] …we started to suspect I guess, yeah. But it was only tonight we all saw the note. We're still…thinking, I guess. But I've always understood the risks of playing. That doesn't mean I want to lay down and die. Doesn't mean I want anyone else to die, either. I want to win. We just don't know how yet.

…Dr. Lecter really is a monster that way, isn't he? [Monsters are reality. He isn't unsettled by that. He's nervous, worried that he'll mis-step and lose everything, but he'll press on the way he always does.] I can warn them…but I can't stop them.

[He lets Will bond with his dog, watching the way Will handles himself. He watches Will watch the window and he wonders what Will sees. What's Will's actual reality? He remembers what Will's said about his head and again, it hurts to think something like this is someone's life. Why do people have to hurt? But. He nods.]

It's not healthy, Will. But…I think…maybe it is safer. It's an amplified version of love. [He would kill for Annabeth, of course. But…monsters, mortals, they're starting to blur together for him and he hates it, finds himself still feeling queasy as he feels Okabe's dried blood under his nails. He can't say he fully understands, but it's enough. He has to try. Keep the monster happy, and, perhaps, things will be in harmony. But at what cost?]

…I have no plans to attack Dr. Lecter. But I would like to speak to him if you really think he'd allow it. I…there are several things I want to ask him. I'd like to talk to him to see if there's another way.

[…and then, there's one more thing.] You never told me how you would plan to set yourself up for death if something does happen to Dr. Lecter. You would be careful, wouldn't you? [He worries, really. He can't stop Will either, but he can worry about what this means. It's clear, there. He wants Will to be safe above all else…but he also trusts Will.

And it's why he chooses then to lean forward, Hannibal's letter clipped between two fingers for Will to take back.]

[sweats]

[ There's a relief really as Will realizes everything he wanted to get out is now out. All he has to do now is answer Percy's questions. His answers won't be helpful or soothe Percy at all, he knows, but at least they're answers. He thinks of Alana then, who wanted so desperately to help Will and understand why he would willingly fling himself into hell with Hannibal before eventually giving up. He knows that's all Percy would be able to do too, if their time together wasn't so short. ]

No, not like you're thinking of. Our relationship is drenched in a layer of violence, if not to each other than to everyone else around us. Jagged edges and blood soaked corners. There isn't anything safe about being with Hannibal Lecter.

[ But, and isn't there always a but? ]

... Hannibal is still better with me. Happier. Content to be idle. And I -- [ He pauses, this is always hard to acknowledge. ] I'm just as content, honestly. I've tasted it here -- what it's like to be with Hannibal and just. Just be. It's something I want. He would attempt to kill me if I left but I don't want to so there's no threat.

[ And then he pauses, considering. ]

... Or not. I actually don't know that for certain anymore. It's been true of the past but Hannibal does have a certain whimsy. He might be too sad if I tried to leave to kill me for it.

[ But everything Percy continues to say is right and there's nothing Will can do to argue it or deny it or anything. Instead he stays silent and watches Percy quietly as he lets Percy go over the facts here. He's right, he's right, he's right, and it's something fascinating to hear someone else lay out their relationship so simply. It makes Will seems like a victim and that's nothing he's ever really considered himself as. He's Hannibal's family, his nakama as he once told Chiyoh. Hannibal is his -- He's his soulmate, to put it simply. ]

... That's the reason I'm here, I think. It hurts but my presence keeps Hannibal steady so Hannibal can play the game. It doesn't matter what I do, just my existence is enough to provide to this game. That's why it doesn't matter if I do anything or not.

[ And Percy continues, so good in his assessment, so accurate in every way. Will can't say anything, just listens to the gentle breathing of the ravenstag in the window and quietly eats another piece of fruit. His fingers idly wipe juice off on the shirt again and he feels satisfaction, even in the small movements.

There is also something about Percy talking about Annabeth now, trying to understand Hannibal and himself through his relationship that makes Will feel ill. He doesn't want Percy to compare the two to them because this -- this isn't right. He's well aware of how messed up his relationship with Hannibal is, he doesn't need Percy to sully his own just to understand. So, he doesn't acknowledge it. Instead, he quietly confirms -- ]

Yes. Riku and Ana were his, because the Sheriff asked.

[ Will still continues to be silent. There isn't anything he can say in response because all he can do is agree. He can't help, can't give advice, nothing like that but Percy's own assessments of Hannibal ring true. Hannibal is a monster, he is a beast, he is the Devil incarnate and Will accepts him wholly regardles. He loves him, he loves him so much it hurts and for a moment -- he wants to be back upstairs, arms curled around the other man and ears pressed to his heartbeat. ]

Our love is dark, dirty, obsessive, but it's still love, Percy. There's understanding there -- and real happiness together, even if it doesn't make sense. It's not healthy, no, but monsters can only love other monsters. Our broken pieces match together perfectly.

[ It took a long time for Will to realize that, chasing after what he thought should be real love instead of this dark thing inside of him. Yet, despite it all, he really is only happy with Hannibal. Just Hannibal. So, it's simple enough what his answer is at the question -- ]

I will. I'd take the most straightforward option, as little pain as possible. The -- the point isn't to suffer, but just die so I could be with him again. We're not supposed to exist without each other, not anymore.

[ And he sighs softly, looking down at his bowl and surprisingly, there's only a strawberry left. He takes it and pops it into his mouth, idly thinking of how pomegranate would be more fitting, wouldn't it? After, it's a matter of reaching out with his free hand to take his note back. That goes back into his pocket after as Will stands up to go put his bowl in the sink and wrap up the rest of the fruit salad for anyone else to have. ]

[hydrokinetics]

[A relationship drenched in a layer of violence…? It doesn’t sound like a relationship he wants or one he would ever encourage someone else to be in, but Will, Percy realizes, doesn’t want to be saved. Will has chosen to make a sacrifice. Sacrifices are funny things, aren’t they? Dangerous situations one willingly throws themselves into to protect other people. That’s what Will’s doing, isn’t it? Protecting others from Hannibal Lecter at the risk of himself.

And yet, here are two men so co-dependent and wrapped around each other that they’re content and happy. Here are two men whose focus is on each other and everyone else is probably expendable. Or, at least, somewhat at risk of being in the way of a violent and dangerous burst. Will wants nothing but to be content and at peace. He’s ensnared the monster and kept him on a leash. And sometimes, Percy thinks, that monster drags him forward without restraint.

He says nothing, but there’s a blip of sadness before there’s acceptance. Will has chosen his life. Percy’s upset about it, but he understands this is a choice. He thinks of people who’ve been manipulated by the darkness, of monsters who whispered promises of better lives. Is Hannibal that to Will? He’s not sure.]

It would make sense, wouldn’t it. [What a horrible, sad truth.] And that’s why Hal left your empathy on. He also knew that, too. [He makes a disgruntled noise as Will confirms Hannibal’s kills.] He asks a lot of us. I’ve never been sure what he thinks he’s playing or why.

[But…well. He shuts up again. It’s not healthy, but monsters can only love other monsters. Does Will really see himself as a monster? Broken pieces that match…he thinks of Annabeth again, how they meld together, but now he sees it. He sees the difference. His love with Annabeth is something light and strong and steady. Something for good and for the world. Hannibal and Will…he sees it now.

And yet he can understand the one point.

“The point isn’t to suffer, but just die so I could be with him again. We’re not supposed to exist without each other, not anymore.”

She looked at me, like she was drinking in the fact that I was still here. And I realized I was doing the same thing. The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive.

He understands.]

I hope that day never comes then, Will. [But he watches Will stand up and he pets Winston once more, scooting the dog out of his lap to also stand even as he pops one more piece of orange into his mouth. He’s going to be taking this to his room, at least.]

…thank you for explaining everything to me. I’ll…use it the best way I can. To help instead of hurt. [He hopes. He knows he can’t control everything, but he’s going to try as hard as he can.] And I’m going to try to write to Annabeth tonight.

You’ll be okay for now?